Money, Financial Indiscipline and the Destruction of Relationships

Money, Financial Indiscipline and the Destruction of Relationships

Money, they say, is the root of all evil. But I think the real problem is not always money itself; sometimes, it is the lack of discipline, accountability, and responsibility that comes with handling it.

Financial indiscipline has become one of the leading factors responsible for broken friendships, strained relationships, and family conflicts. Something as simple as borrowing money and failing to return it can gradually destroy a relationship that took years to build.

Let me explain.

I have this friend whom I occasionally lend money to whenever she needs financial assistance. On several occasions, she borrowed money from me and paid it back, so I never really had a reason to doubt her.

However, there was a particular time she borrowed money from me and promised to return it the following day.

A week passed, then another, and eventually, a whole month went by. What surprised me most was not just the delay in payment but the silence that followed. She never brought up the money, never explained her situation, and never made any effort to communicate with me about when I should expect my money.

When I eventually gave her a deadline to pay me back, something unexpected happened. She stopped communicating with me completely. It was almost as though I had become a stranger to her simply because I was asking for what belonged to me.

Eventually, after a month, she returned my money and explained that she had stopped talking to me because she didn’t have the money to pay me. Now that she had paid, she was back.

Honestly, I felt hurt.

I couldn’t understand why someone I considered a friend would allow money to create such distance between us. I would have appreciated an honest conversation. A simple message saying, “I don’t have your money right now, but please bear with me. I’ll pay you as soon as I can,” would have made a difference.

That experience made me realise something: sometimes, the damage caused by borrowing money is not necessarily the money itself but the behaviour that follows.

Borrowing money does not give you permission to disrespect the person who helped you.

The Problem With Borrowing Money and Living a Luxurious Lifestyle

Let’s address another behaviour that I find particularly disturbing.

Some people will borrow money from friends, family members, or acquaintances, yet continue to display luxurious lifestyles on social media.

They will post pictures of expensive restaurants, shopping, outings, vacations, and unnecessary purchases while the person they owe is waiting patiently to receive their money.

Now, I understand that people have different financial circumstances, and not everything displayed on social media tells the full story. However, there is something fundamentally wrong with prioritising unnecessary spending over an outstanding financial responsibility.

If someone trusts you enough to lend you their money, the least you can do is demonstrate some level of responsibility.

You cannot consistently claim to be financially stranded when it is time to repay a debt but suddenly have enough money for every other luxury.

It is not about living a miserable life because you owe someone money. It is about understanding priorities.

You cannot afford to maintain a lifestyle that your financial responsibilities cannot support.

When Financial Indiscipline Becomes a Habit

Another category of people are those who actually have money to repay their debts but deliberately choose to spend it on other things.

Imagine borrowing money from someone, receiving money a few days later, and instead of settling your outstanding debt, you decide to purchase something you do not urgently need.

You convince yourself that you will pay the person later, but later becomes another week, another month, or even several months.

This behaviour communicates a lack of respect for the person you owe.

The truth is that when someone lends you money, they are sometimes making sacrifices of their own. They may have postponed something important, adjusted their budget, or used money they had originally reserved for another purpose just to assist you.

You may never fully understand the inconvenience your delay has caused them.

This is why financial responsibility should never be treated as an optional virtue.

The Consequences of Borrowing Money and Failing to Repay

Have you ever wondered what happens when you repeatedly disappoint people who have helped you financially?

There are several consequences.

1. You lose people’s trust.

Trust is not built overnight. When someone repeatedly fails to honour financial commitments, people naturally become reluctant to assist them again.

Even when you genuinely need help in the future, people may hesitate because of your previous behaviour.

2. You destroy meaningful relationships.

Friendships that have survived misunderstandings, disagreements, and difficult situations can suddenly fall apart because of money.

Sometimes, the person you owe is not even angry about your inability to pay immediately. They are hurt by your silence, avoidance, dishonesty, and lack of consideration.

3. You develop a poor financial reputation.

People talk, especially when they feel disappointed. Consistently failing to repay borrowed money can affect how others perceive your character and reliability.

4. You may lose genuine support when you need it most.

Life is unpredictable. There may come a time when you find yourself in a serious financial crisis and desperately need assistance.

Unfortunately, the same people who would have willingly helped you may no longer be available because you previously abused their trust.

This is one of the most painful consequences of financial irresponsibility.

A Few Things We Need to Understand About Borrowing Money

I believe there are certain principles everyone should understand before borrowing money from another person.

• Do not borrow money if you already know you have no intention of paying it back.
• Never make promises about repayment dates when you are uncertain about your financial situation.
• If you cannot meet an agreed repayment date, communicate with the person. Do not disappear.
• Do not prioritise unnecessary luxury purchases over outstanding debts.
• Never make someone feel guilty for asking you to return their money.
• If you are unable to repay everything at once, communicate honestly and propose a realistic repayment arrangement.

Most importantly, understand that borrowing money is a responsibility, not an entitlement.

Conclusion: Money May Come and Go, But Trust Is Difficult to Rebuild.

At the end of the day, money is something we all need to survive. There will be seasons when we have enough and seasons when we struggle.

Nobody is above financial difficulties. Today, you may be the person lending money; tomorrow, you may be the one asking for help.

But regardless of which side you find yourself on, financial integrity matters.

If someone trusts you with their money, respect that trust. If you cannot pay when promised, communicate. If you eventually have the money, make repayment a priority.

Do not allow a temporary financial situation to destroy a relationship that could have lasted a lifetime.

Remember, people may forgive you for not having money, but they may find it difficult to forgive you for taking their kindness for granted.

Your financial situation may determine how much money you have, but your financial discipline determines how much people can trust you.

So, the next time you borrow money from someone, remember that you are not just borrowing money; you are borrowing their trust.

Please, honour it.