SELF ESTEEM

My wonderful readers, it is with great delight that I welcome you all to this amazing blog site.

I choose to kick off with the title "self esteem" because it is one predominant factor in our society. I am emphasizing self esteem in relationship.

Self esteem has many definitions and understanding. But, I simply defined mine as one's self worth. Yes, your value as an individual. Centering on relationship, self esteem is your personal worth in your relationship. That value you place on yourself in your relationship, not considering what your partner has to say, not considering people's validation too.

It is worthy to note that self esteem comes in two phases. The high self esteem and the low self esteem. The high self esteem is otherwise positive and I represent it with a (+), while the low self esteem is otherwise negative and I represent it with a (-)

Positive self esteem equals good, healthy and valuable worth of oneself in a relationship. I was trapped in a difficult situation few years ago. I fell in love with a guy who shuttles between Port Harcourt and Abuja for work and other activities. Dude almost ruined my peace of mind because he'll ask me to take an impromptu leave from work. Whenever he arrives the "Port Harcourt International Airport" he'll insist I am present to welcome him home. I got really perplexed about loosing my job, because I always have to ask for leave and meeting my boss each time became really difficult for me. I feared loosing the man i love so much. I also feared loosing my job. I got to advise myself to walk out of that relationship, yes, though it was too difficult but I finally got my sanity.

Thereafter, I got promoted at work and dude got married to another lady, guess what? My self esteem made me pull through. Assuming I quit my job for the relationship, I would have encountered a bigger loss. "Positive self esteem is ideal, it is that garment you cloth yourself with as a female gender.

Negative self esteem equals low, unhealthy and less valuable worth of oneself in a relationship.

Positive self esteem enables one stand out in a relationship and relates calmly to all tantrums thrown in a relationship. Of course, relationship is not a bed of roses for everyone. The female gender is advised to build their self worth because the society at large, throws a lot at us. Ranging from the consequences of break ups, the aftermath of a relationship, etc. As a female gender, you'll shuttle your career, education, hormonal changes and imbalances and also be faced with societal problems.

Majoring on the female gender, I will like to discuss ways to build one's self esteem.

• Believing in oneself despite people's opinions: most times, we are trapped in decisions or conditions that a silent voice keeps saying "you can't" no, you won't win. In such situation, self esteem acts as a leverage.
• Loving yourself in or out of a relationship: My story above tells you what self esteem does in the life of every female gender. Presently, every female wants to be in a relationship, where they'll love and be loved. But positive self esteem, enables loving oneself.
• Setting boundaries in every relationship: Every female gender should know their left from their right. They should stop the sharing of pornographic images to keep their relationships. You can share a pile of nudes to your partner and he'll still quit at the long run. Sometimes, they see you as someone whose very loose and can still do same to others.
• Living/keeping a healthy lifestyle: Sometimes, as a lady you'll want to add weight or loose weight because of a man. Some men will want you to go on clubs with them. They will introduce you to smoking and drugs. Thereby staring an unhealthy lifestyle in you. Please give such lifestyles a quit. End/run.
• Dressing smartly at all times: The way you dress is simply how you are addressed. As a lady, your wardrobe doesn't have to go on a high budget. But buy clothes that'll fit in and give you that confidence you deserve to step out.
• Wear good fragrance: Buy good deodorants, anti-perspirants. They all come in different varieties and you'll get them on low budgets. You don't need to break the bank.
• Do not be lazy to utilize your God's given skills: You are special and unique in your God's given talent. Use it wisely.
• Always apologize and seek out for your weak points: When you are wrong, admit it. Also, look out for those points which makes you always go off.
• Do not disclose your weak points to your partner: Never be in a haste to tell your partner your week points, he may use them against you rather than boosting you.

This piece will be continued in part 2.