HER: who Really Sees Her

HER: Who Really Sees Her?

Her, also known as the girl child, exists in every race, nationality, skin tone and colour. Yet, one question continues to linger in her mind: Who really sees her?

Hello, my name is Her. I am a girl child living in Nigeria, and I would like to give you a little background into what growing up as a girl in Nigeria feels like.

Growing up as a girl child was once filled with beautiful and joyful moments, especially those shared with family, friends and loved ones. Childhood was simple until the moment you began receiving instructions, answering questions and noticing certain expectations that made you realise that you were different from the opposite gender, known as a man.

That was where Her’s journey of self-awareness began.

I remember being told that whenever I played with boys, I had to be careful that nobody touched my underwear. I was told to cover up because I was not supposed to be naked or expose certain parts of my body when boys were around.

But I was confused. Why? Weren’t we all children? Weren’t we supposed to play, laugh and grow together without having to constantly think about the differences between us?

As I grew older, I began to understand that society had already drawn a line between the girl child and the boy child. Gradually, I became conscious of my surroundings and started learning how to protect myself from a gender I had no hatred towards.

At such a young age, I was already being prepared to guard myself against men. I was taught how to dress, how to behave, where to go, when to speak and how to avoid situations that could put me at risk.

But I began to wonder: Were boys being taught the same responsibility?

Were they being taught to respect boundaries, understand consent, control their actions and recognise that a woman’s body is not theirs to violate?

Were they being taught what it truly means to become a good man?

Because if one gender is constantly being taught how to become a better woman, how to protect herself and how to avoid becoming a victim, while the other gender is not equally taught how to become responsible men who respect women, then how can we possibly create a balanced society?

How can we build a society where women feel safe if the responsibility for their safety rests almost entirely on their shoulders?

Perhaps it is time we stopped teaching only the girl child how to avoid being harmed and started teaching the boy child how not to cause harm.

After all, a society that teaches girls to protect themselves but fails to teach boys to respect them is yet to understand what equality and safety truly mean.